Thursday, September 04, 2008

Words Women Use

A male friend of mine forwarded the following to me today and I found it funny enough to post it here to share with you all...

Men's Guide to Interpreting The Words Women Use

i) Fine: The word women use to end an argument, implying that they are right and you need to shut up.

ii) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means another half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to do whatever you are doing before you do what she wants you to do for her.

iii) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something and that you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with "nothing" usually end in "fine". (cf. "i")

iv) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't go ahead!

v) Loud Sigh: This is not actually a word but is a non-verbal statement used by women which is often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks that you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (cf. "iii")

vi) That's okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. It means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

vii) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question or faint. Just say you're welcome. Unless she says "Thanks a lot!" - that is pure sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say "you're welcome" as that will bring on a "whatever". (cf. "viii")

viii) Whatever: A woman's way of saying "!@#$ YOU!"

ix) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking "What's wrong?", to which the woman will most likely give the response: "Nothing" (cf. "iii")


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